We've Moved!

Please check out the new site home at lovewits.com.

xoxo Alannah

Ladies, Are You Too Picky?

It's good to have high standards for yourself and for those whom you choose to date.  However, when those standards are too high or totally unrealistic, you can end up shortchanging yourself and lose out on meeting lots of great guys in the process.  Below, some tell-tale signs that you may be too picky when it comes to dating!

1) You honestly don't remember the last time you went on a date (despite numerous chances or offers).  It's normal to go through a dating dry spell every now and then, and these can last anywhere from a few months to a few years.  However, if opportunities keep presenting themselves (in the form of offers for coffee dates or well-intentioned friends who try to set up blind dates) and you continually turn them down, this may be a sign that you are too picky and doing yourself a disservice by limiting your dating options.  Don't be afraid to "date outside the box" and try dating someone you wouldn't normally date. 

This doesn't mean slumming it, either; it just means giving that cute guy at the coffee shop a chance despite the fact that he doesn't fit the preppy mold of guys you usually go for (which could be a good thing!), or skipping your usual uptown hangouts when manhunting with the girls and trying a sports bar instead.  What have you got to lose?

2) Your list of "must-haves" is over 10 items long.  It's good to know what you want and to not settle.  However, if you are too stringent on your list of must-haves, you risk ruling out some very cool guys who might otherwise be a great match for you.  Be flexible and allow yourself to explore your options when dating.  Have a few must-haves that you know you cannot compromise on (such as views on having children, a shared faith, and/or career ambitions) and leave wiggle room for the rest.  Try to limit your must-have list to 5 items or less, and leave room for the rest.  Doing this opens up a whole new world of potential dates you may otherwise have ruled out.

Q & A - How Do I Win Her Back?

Q. Dear Alannah,

My reason for contacting you today is because I'm in need of your expert advice.  I've checked almost all of your videos and I have to say that I am really impressed with what you had to say, especially when it comes to women.

You see my problem is that the girl I love recently left me because she said that she is no longer attracted to me.  She told me that she no longer sees me in a romantic light.  I think that this has to do with me working far away from her for weeks at a time.  Other than that I did not see any other problem in the relationship.  I believe she is currently seeing other guys, but I don't think that anything is going on...yet.  I think I still have a chance to win her back.  But, I need your help.  We broke up about two weeks ago, but during the break up she broke off all communications with me.  I couldn't call, text, or email her at all.  As of yesterday she finally decided to call me and said that she would like to be my friend so that she could take care of me.  My question for you is at this stage, should I give up all hope or should I fight to win her back?  If I should fight for her then would asking her out this early ruin the chances for me?  I've been thinking about giving her a call, but am afraid that she might say she's busy or something.  What do I need to do to get her attracted to me again?  I'm so confused!

Sincerely,

Sam

How to Tease A Woman and Give Effective Backhanded Compliments

You may have heard it time and again, but there's nothing quite like teasing and using backhanded compliments to get a woman's attention.  From the moves I've heard many guys pulling, however, there seems to be some "confusion" as to what an effective backhanded compliment should look and sound like.  Read on to learn how to effectively tease and flirt with a woman to blow her mind!

1) Do not be meanspirited.  This is probably one of the most important rules when teasing a woman and giving a backhanded compliment (BHC), and that is that not only will your move backfire if you insult her by saying something mean and turn her off, but she'll also see you as a bully and will probably stay away from you.  For your teasing jabs (TJ) and BHC's to work, there has to be a balance of humor and honesty, and they should not target something she can't change. (For instance, teasing her for her crazy hairstyle is okay; calling her a runt because of her height is not.)

2) No emo undertones. The point of TJ's and BHC's are to show-off your humor and to show that you aren't afraid to "insult" her, therefore displaying confidence and a lack of intimidation. If you use a comment that has emo undertones, however, it'll make you seem insecure or afraid that you won't measure up, and it defeats the purpose of the comment in the first place.

For instance, a good backhanded compliment will often position you as "superior" to her somehow, in a humorous way so that your comment comes across as confident and funny, rather than arrogant. Either that, or it will "insult" her in a funny way (that's not meanspirited).  It does not position you as below her in any way that makes it seem like you don't think you can measure up. Some examples are below:

Good: "Love your haircut -- it looked better on Rod Stewart!"

Bad: "Thanks for finally responding to my email -- you have the memory of my grandmother!"

How to Convey Confidence Around Women

So you've just met a hot girl and want to make a good impression, but aren't sure how.  With all of the pressure to put your best foot forward and stand out among a sea of guys, is it any wonder a guy can easily clam up when meeting a new woman? 

Below are some quick and easy ways to convey confidence around a new woman (or any woman!) and get her attention quickly to stand out from the crowd!

1) Smile and be friendly.  Nobody likes a sourpuss, and that includes females. Smile and be friendly - chances are, you'll receive the same in return. Smiling shows confidence and that you're approachable, and everyone likes that, male or female.  Show that you're open and approachable by flashing those pearly whites, and you'll create a good impression without even saying a word!

Double Dates Can Improve Your Relationship

Although one-on-one downtime with your sweetie is a must to maintaining a strong relationship, did you know that double dates with other couples can also help strengthen your bond?  Researchers at Wayne State University recently found that going on double-dates with other couples can help you feel more happy and satisfied with your own relationship. 

Creepy Come-Ons 2: How to Instantly Turn Her Off

1) Licking your lips every few seconds when talking to her, while seducing her with your eyes.

2) Sneaking up behind her and staring at her silently until she notices you.

3) Sending her a photoshopped picture of her and her boyfriend with your picture pasted over his head.

4) Following her home (without her asking) after your first meeting, just to make sure she "got home safe".

5) Sending her a Facebook "Relationship Request" when you two have never even met.

6) Telling her you've been having her picture saved as your desktop wallpaper for months during your first date.

7) Creating a "love confession" video for her - a la Jim Carrey's video for Emma Stone - without having ever met her.